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Spice up your virtual meetings: Invite a Goat

Got an upcoming video call? Find out if your workmates, friends and family are paying attention by adding a goat.

 

For the bargain price of £5 (all currencies and countries accepted) you can choose one of our goats to join you for 5 minutes of your video meeting. All proceeds go towards bulk buying loo roll.* 

The goats are savvy in Zoom, Microsoft teams, Webex, Blue Jeans, Skype, Google Hangouts, Jitsi, Go To Meeting and Ring Central. Want to use a different platform? Message us.

Choose a Goat for your call!

Daisy Cronkshaw

Daisy

This is the goat that was banned from participating in goat yoga due to head butting other goats away from the humans so she could have all the attention. She loves people but maybe too much. Daisy is Mum to Lulu, loves reading (and eating) business management books and HATES anyone who disturbs her from the important business of eating.

What to expect from Daisy:

- Rage and affection in equal measures

- Head butting her pen mates if they dare approach her hay supply.

- Complicit in the petty theft of snacks via pick pocketing

Jackie

You may have seen Jackie before in her role as a TV stunt goat during a courageous battle scene where she was thrown out of an English castle by a very naughty Frenchman. It turned out they thought she did not have the authority to be there.

What to expect from Jackie:

  • Humming Britney Spears songs subconsciously

  • Apt at casting reprobates into the Zoom waiting room

  • May fart in your general direction

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Regina

Unapologetically sassy, flawless glossy coat glistening, Regina is the wanabee queen bee of the goat barn, seeking to take the throne from Daisy. Regina and her manipulative charm mean our goat yoga instructors often find Regina is the one sat on the teachers mat instead of them. They daren’t ask her to move. She’s too fabulous and too feared.

 

What to expect from Regina:

  • Hair tosses

  • Vicious fabulousness

  • Side eye

Elizabeth

Elizabeth, always keeping it classy. Elizabeth is glowing with good health. To her displeasure, Elizabeth has an evil twin, who will not be named as said evil twin jumped the farm boundary fence into the neighboring kitchen gardens and devoured all the cauliflowers. Elizabeth is the good twin, who will curiously look on while listening intently to you.

What to expect from Elizabeth:

- Impeccable video call etiquette

- On point glossy coat

- A sense of moral duty

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Poke

Poke has the biggest heart in the goat barn. Her shy, bumbling demeanour often leaves her shunned by the rest of the herd. Clumsy yet loyal, her quiet kindness shines, wielding a sweet character that defies her ungainly exterior.

What to expect from Poke:

  • Bashfulness

  • Accidental prods from her sideways growing horns

  • Coy, embarrassed attempts to get humans for scratch behind her ears

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Elizabeth's evil twin

Evil mastermind or misunderstood maverick? You decide. No one truly knows what this mysterious Caprine enigma is thinking

What to expect from Elizabeth's evil twin:

  • Impressively bendy neck

  • soul penetrating stare

  • More unknowable than the location of Boris Johnson's hair brush

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Frankie-Chanel

FC doesn’t walk through the barn, she struts. Oozing sultry charm. With fierce confidence she commands attention while blending high-class sass with high gloss goat-coat allure. She leaves everyone obsessed.

 

What to expect from Frankie:

  • Sultry side eye

  • Ambivalence to lesser beings

  • The occasional hoof pawing at you as a reminder she should be centre stage at all times

Got exciting news to share? Hire a GOAT WITH A NOTE! 

Have a message to share that requires more pizazz than a normal video call?

Book one of our goats to deliver a special note of your choosing via video call.

 

The Goats will present your special note for your comrades to read written on special Goat friendly edible paper with special edible ink. Once everyone has had chance to read it, the goats will DEVOUR IT. Nice news is just delicious!

(We know this is bonkers, btw)

ONLY £10!

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Want a recording Instead?

 

We can write your special note out for the goats to eat, record them eating it then send the video to you via email. Download it and it's yours forever to watch whenever you want and share with as many Goat appreciating pals as you like.

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Buy a video of a GOAT eating your special NOTE!

ONLY £10!

Got a Goat loving pal? Give the gift of Goats!

Questions? Message us

We'll get baaaa ck to you

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All profits go to loo roll hoarding*

Ok ok you got us - We're not actually funding a loo roll hoarding exercise! All profits from the Goat zoom call madness will be going towards paying for the purchase and installation of renewable technologies at the farm. It is our hope that one day we will produce enough renewable energy here at the farm to sell the excess back to the grid. The more people with the ability to do this who install clean tech, the more financially viable it becomes for everyone. We hope you like our slightly off the wall Goat zoom idea and that it brings you a laugh!

P.S - We've now been asked by several folks if we are accepting donations towards our cause of installing renewable technologies here. We were asked this loads of times back in Autumn 2019 after our BBC documentary aired - but it just felt so cheeky getting money for free without doing the work for it we didn't do it. We like to earn our own way.

Since then we've had numerous emails pointing out that lots of people REALLY want to do something about climate change and unlike us they don't have the space to install loads of solar panels or a wind turbine. By accepting donations we are allowing such folks to help us do something big to help tackle climate change when their circumstances won't allow for it. We had not seen it from this point of view before so (after much mental anguish!) we have put a donate button below, hidden at the bottom of this page.

 

All of the donations will go towards buying and installing renewable tech. We will be saving all your names and graffiti-ing them onto the panel edges/ wind turbine once we have them.

OK - if you've read this far we feel you must really really want to donate so here is the button:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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only if you're sure though......

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We still find this emotionally challenging ok

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.......

It's weird asking strangers for money!

ok....

 

this​ is it now.....

Ta da!

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