Adopt a Goat!

Developed a soft spot for our world famous Goats? Got a Goat loving comrade who would love to adopt one? Choose your favourite Goat and adopt them from December 2021 - September 2022!

You will receive:

 

- A certificate of adoption

Choose which goat and tell us who's adopting them and we will email you a personalised certificate!

 

- A video from the Goats with a personalised message of your choiceWe will hand write your message onto special edible paper using special edible ink, record the goats presenting the message, then eating it! 

 

- Unlimited live video calls to your Goat for only £3 a call 

Receive a discount link to call your Goat whenever you like (in line with our availability.) The Goat will even message you if you turn the chat box on! (They've very dextrous hooves, great for typing.)

 

- An additional free ticket when you book to attend a Goat Yoga

Want to visit IRL? Book a Goat yoga class ticket in 2022 and get a second ticket FREE! 

 

- 15% discount when booking to stay at the farm

Choose between our Treehouse, Shepherds Hut, Old Farm Office Cabin or Woodland Yurt.

 

Price: £25

 

Made and emailed to you within 24 hours of booking Monday - Saturday

BUT WHICH GOAT WILL YOU CHOOSE?!

Daisy Cronkshaw

Daisy

This is the goat that was banned from participating in goat yoga due to head butting other goats away from the humans so she could have all the attention. She loves people but maybe too much. Daisy is Mum to Lulu, loves reading (and eating) business management books and HATES anyone who disturbs her from the important business of eating.

What to expect from Daisy:

- Rage and affection in equal measures

- Head butting her pen mates if they dare approach her hay supply.

- Complicit in the petty theft of snacks via pick pocketing

Mary Cronkshaw

Mary

Mary has had it with the Mum life and has taken the approach of letting her teenage kid, the Sassy Simone, do whatever she wants. Kids today have no respect.

What to expect from Mary:

- Ambivalence

- limited attention span

- Totally fine peeing in front of you

Jackie Cronkshaw

Jackie

You may have seen Jackie before in her role as stunt goat during a courageous battle scene where she was thrown out of an English castle by a very naughty Frenchman. It turned out she did not have the authority to be there.

What to expect from Jackie:

  •  Humming Britney Spears songs subconsciously

  • Apt at casting reprobates into the zoom waiting room

  • May fart in your general direction

Lola

Her name is Lola, she is a show goat, yellow Iodine on her hair from butting heads without a care.

 

While many of the Goats on the farm have been available to book for video calls since 2020, Lola has had to wait until now to gain a spot in the limelight. 

What to expect from Lola:

  • Dazzling smiles

  • Tap dancing hooves

  • RAGE if any other goat tries to steal her moment of fame

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Lisa

Since former boyfriend Timone got the boot Lisa finally has the peace and tranquility she has craved. She’s moved back to the main barn with her Goat gal pals where she spends her time watching Thelma and Louise on repeat, eating snacks and napping whenever the heck she fancies.

What to expect from Lisa:

- Passive aggressive bleating

- Ferocious hunger

- Lack of any form of patience or tolerance of anything

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Lulu

With estrogen inducing levels of cuteness Lulu can commonly be found in the main barn snuggling with her Mummy, Daisy. It’s far too easy to assume this little critter is nothing but sweetness and light, yet legend has it Lulu’s blood curdling bleat scared Taylor Swift out of her own music video. Lulu likes to use her treacherous screech to interrupt any time a goat other than her is booked for a call.

What to expect from Lulu:

  • The floppiest ears and the fuzziest belly fluff

  • A complete disregard for other goats/camera operators personal space

  • Extreme jealousy should you DARE mention the cuteness of any other goats during your call.

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Elizabeth

Elizabeth, always keeping it classy. A true believer in the multivitamins Elizabeth is glowing with good health. She shares a pen with her evil twin, who will not be named as said evil twin jumped the farm boundary fence into the neighbouring kitchen gardens and devoured all the cauliflowers. Elizabeth is the good twin, who will curiously look on while listening intently to you.

What to expect from Elizabeth:

- Impeccable video call etiquette

- On point glossy coat

- A sense of moral duty

Elizabeth's evil twin

Evil mastermind or misunderstood maverick? You decide. No one truly knows what this mysterious Caprine enigma is thinking

What to expect from Elizabeth's evil twin:

  • Impressively bendy neck

  • soul penetrating stare

  • More unknowable than the location of Boris Johnson's hair brush

Elizabeth's evil twin

Margaret

 

Margaret is the highest ranking nanny who has ever lived in the barn. Feared by some, respected by all, you don't want to get on the wrong side of Marge. 

What to expect from Margaret:

- Valour

- Honour

- Justice

 

.... and the occasional head butting of miscreants.

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*Remember!* We are a working farm! All our animals on the farm are for food! The primary use of our Goats is currently conservation grazing research to look into lower carbon footprint Capra hircus feeding models - however in the long run (usually when female goats are 6+ and males are ~2 / 4-5 depending on if they are chosen as a Stud goat) the Goats, like our sheep and laying poultry, go for meat. We often have Goats who stick around for much longer like Lola who is 8 and Mary who is 11 and are still in fine fettle. We know ~85% of the people globally consume animal products regularly but for the 15% who don’t - we want to make this clear to you so there’s no confusion! More info on our farming ethics here if you are nosey for more.

 

Questions? Message us!

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